The meeting didn't go too bad. The great-grandmother's lawyer is fairly normal and as much as she tried to defend her and pull pity cards for her, she seemed to understand the situation. We also really like the guardian ad litem and he seems to understand the situation we're in.
At least great-grandmother wasn't there which was a fear of mine (we were told she wasn't). It also didn't turn into we want to get a visit for her no matter what which was our other fear.
We definitely feel bad for the great-grandmother but at the same time, it's not about her, it's about the boys and what's best for them. Believe me, if having a relationship with her had worked out, we would've loved having a free babysitter in town.
However, after visits with her, we saw diarrhea, tantrums, night terrors, clinginess and various other disturbing favors. Also, most times we would receive a call from her within 2 hours (when she was supposed to take them for 4) that C1 was crying about an ear ache and she had to bring him home. When he got home, he would make a miraculous recovery within 5 minutes, no medicine needed.
We also kept her updated on these things but it just didn't phase her. Finally, after things were out of control, we asked the department to step in. Unfortunately, we shouldn't have been coordinating anything to begin with. Never mind coordinating visits with her at our house, a time for her to take them out, and phone calls. Lord, I know more about this woman than I do my own mother.
Unfortunately, I think the great-grandmother just has a goal and that's to see the boys at her convenience. Afterall, everything we went over at this meeting has been relayed to the great-grandmother during 4 team meetings even relayed by the boys' therapist.
We were also very clear that if we are to adopt, the only thing we could do for her was send her updates in the form of letters and possibly pictures. So we think her lawyer won't be able to convince her that her seeing them is not good for them. In which case, she'll pursue a battle of placement or sue for custody. I guess we'll just wait and see. Of course, we had to get the most dramatic foster placement that has this huge exetended family living in the same town we do.