I was SUPER livid to hear from Mary yesterday afternoon that our caseworker called about setting up a visit between HB and Cameron. WTF?!?! We seemed to have cleared this up with the adoptive mother but she seriously crossed a line. Getting a caseworker to force a visit in a white walled room is NOT a good idea. We were also like, look if you hadn't cancelled Mary's visit on Sunday we'd be looking to have a visit sooner. Luckily, we were able to push off the caseworker by telling her to call Cameron's therapist and at her recommendation, she didn't think a visit should be happening right now. God forbid anybody just take our word.
We also tried to re-explain to the adoptive mothr that if they thought HB seeing Cameron was going to smooth things over for them, it was not, so they should just drop that fantasy. We went through this! HB would ask for bio family quite frequently. We set up visits with extended family that we thought would please him and instead it totally backfired on us. And now we're trying to look out for Cameron who is very adamant about not wanting to see HB. And I do not blame him, HB was not good to him and he associates HB with bad things happening to him. These boys aren't being separated because they have a loving and bonded relationship.
I was still seriously pissed about the caseworker being involved. We are at the verge of adoption and we got news the other day that they f*ct up our paperwork by spelling Cameron's bio father's last name wrong. So now everything has to go back to be changed. Luckily, our lawyer caught this mistake made by the state because dumb stuff like that could threaten the adoption later on.
As far as I'm concerned though, we're an adoptive family now and they can't tell us what to do. We signed a pre-adoptive agreement so now we don't receive any foster benefits. Which I thought was weird but whatever, we're more than willing to pay for him but don't force us into stuff that is clearly not in his best interest.
To top things off, Mary pressured Cameron into getting on the phone when HB called last night. I was pretty pissed. He was asked several times if he wanted to talk to which he said, "no!" and even looked very nervous and got all clingy with me one of the times. Then I go on the phone with HB and suddenly Mary brings him into the room and is like, "Cameron's going to talk now". I was pissed but as predicted Cameron got on the phone and said, "hello ba-bye!" and ran away from the phone. I'm not sure HB's adoptive family grasps the concept of a 3 and a 4 year old having a phone conversation. Anywho, I was ticked at Mary and she learned her mistake this morning because Cameron threw a fit and didn't want her to leave when she dropped him off at school. Forcing him into doing things like this is just going to enhance his abandonment issues which Mary agreed and said she wouldn't be doing it again.