Finding BALANCE

Thanks everyone for their kind comments. :-)

We'll definitely know how C1's doing which is good. Though for Mary's sake, I wish the adoptive mother wouldn't send her SO many updates. She had already sent 2 emails as of this morning. Kind of crazy considering he's been gone for LESS than 24 hours. Mary definitely needs some separation and time to let go which I don't think can happen if she's bombarded by updates.

Mary already has plans to meet him and his family for lunch next Sunday. The issue of C1 continues to provoke tension between me and Mary as we've been arguing a bit about how frequently she should go see him. She wants to do every week but I suggested every other week. Since they are so far away, it's a day event so I don't want Mary to always be gone 1 out of the 2 days that me & C2 get to spend with her. Plus, I think even every other week is excessive for the long run but I figure she can scale it down.

Needless to say, we are going to wait a little bit to start visits with the boys. Since we think it would be confusing for them to do visits right away. At the same time, we don't want too much time to pass where they don't really remember each other. We'll see, I hope we can find a balance so they can have a healthy relationship and some sort of biological tie. I'm not just not into force feeding them an unhealthy relationship. After all, they've been through the ringer with unnecessary visits.

Anywho, this entire situation gives me anxiety. On one hand, I'd just like to say forget any visits and let the boys make a decision when their older as to if they want to see each other. Plus, things are different for C1 and his adoptive family. They only have him and have no plans for any more children. We have another child on the way that we have to consider in what I think is already a dysfunctional situation. I just want a "normal" family.