Friday, March 7, 2008

Bittersweet

C1 has officially left the building. We did breakfast at the train restaurant this morning, some playing at the mall, and then went to his "graduation" at his pre-school. His adoptive family was also there to take him home. I am sad but there is much relief, like I've been pushing a 1,000 pound weight for a year and suddenly I'm free.

I have joked that I was done with C1 the day he threw the time out chair at me - I think that was about a month after he started living with us. However, I tried and tried and tried. Mary and I put our relationship on the back burner to try to save some one's child. But in the end, it was clear that we just weren't going to be able to handle or meet his needs. I wish the best for him and I hope that his adoptive parents can create some positive change in him.

I am sad if not disgusted that birth parents and biological family members are allowed to go on for so long destroying a child. We've witnessed "the system" first hand and at it's worst. There are lots of children out there and there are ways to help even if you don't foster or adopt.

Now begins the next chapter of our life. It's bittersweet.

3 comments:

Lannette said...

Candice, You and Mary did your very best and held out so long. From what you've said it's clear that C1 really has a deep seated need to be either the "only" child or the "baby" so in letting him go you've also given him what he most likely needs.

Still, it must be really hard to make it final. Hopefully you'll get some kind of report letting you know that he's doing well and thriving with his adoptive parents. I think that the book you made him was amazingly sweet and thoughtful.

Tracers said...

I can see how you would feel that way, but it was for the best. You wouldn't have been doing yourself or him a favor if you had agreed to the adoption.

I had a massage today (1st one) and thought of you. It was very very nice!

Tracers said...

I can see how you would feel that way, but it was for the best. You wouldn't have been doing yourself or him a favor if you had agreed to the adoption.

I had a massage today (1st one) and thought of you. It was very very nice!