Friday, February 1, 2008

In Limbo - RANT

So a good thing that came out of the adoption worker/case worker meeting the other day was discontinuing C1 and C2's therapy session they have together. We would only continue bringing C1 to his own session. Since we had mentioned how C1 has had some incidences at school after their double session. For example, the time he head butted another kid and the teacher was surprised he didn't break the kids nose. So the caseworker said that we could just go ahead and cancel that session since they were no longer keeping the boys together. Silly us, we go ahead and cancel it. Well, no, apparently now they want C2 to go on his own.

I am annoyed to say the least. C2 doesn't need to be going to therapy. The ONLY reason we had him going with C1 was for C1 and to work out the animosity and resentment he has towards C2. That's it. C2 in all of this has stayed seemingly normal or at least not at the point where he needs to see a play therapist once/week. C1 is also going to get very jealous that C2 is going on his own. We had him going on his own for a few times before they started sessions together and there was a huge jealousy that C2 was taking C1's therapist. None of these imbosile people know what we have to deal with on a day to day basis or the stress that we're under to keep things somewhat copascetic.

I mentioned to Mary that I thought C2 might need to see a therapist later on. Afterall, the kid is about to have some major changes. His brother's going to leave, his Mary & "Cannee" are going to become his Mom & Mommy, he's potentially going to have a new name, and he's going to have a baby brother or sister. That's a lot for any 3 year old. However, right now I'd just like to focus on us being a family and working through our own issues. I also strongly dislike the play therapist and her methods (or lack there of). So as his parents, I thought we'd choose one if we felt he needed one.

We have also been trying to discuss the aspects of C2's adoption. Mary is dead set on C2 and C1 having a relationship even in seperate homes. I agree that the biological connection is important. I just wonder how it's going to work out for our family & C1's adoptive family. Afterall, we've seen how C1 has acted after any sort of visit with any sort of family. I also don't want C2 to stand out in our family as the adopted kid with a seperate family.

There's also the aspect of C1 still being in the house. I'm about to have a baby. We've made a conscious decision to not let the boys know I'm pregnant. Since we thought both of them would be leaving, we didn't want them to associate that with the reason they were leaving. But now we need to prepare C2 for having a sibling. However, we can't do any of this while C1 is in the house. The caseworker and adoption worker kept saying, "well, you're due in July". Yeah, maybe when I'm in labor, we can let C2 know that he's going to have a baby brother/sister. Oy, I'm just so annoyed.

I'm also finding it hard to trust anything the case worker says. I told Mary we shouldn't bank on anything because they may just be stringing us along and all of a sudden they'll say, "oh, we found a home for both boys" or "oh, aunt so and so wants to adopt C2". Already, we were told that great-grandmother is doing a homestudy to try to adopt C1 (which would be totally crazy). She would definitely have a better chance of getting custody of C2 since he is not high needs and he lived with her for over a year. She couldn't even handle C1 for a couple of months.

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