Thursday, January 31, 2008

Adoption

So I'm kind of in shock. I mean, we had said we'd adopt C2 and that unfortunately we just couldn't handle C1. We also felt that their sibling relationship was not something that required both of them to be adopted to the same home. C1 has high needs and also has a lot of animosity towards his brother. And in the scheme of their life, they only lived together for a few months (C1 had been with his grandmother and C2 with his great-grandmother) before coming to live with us.

Needless to say, we were told by everyone that they were going to keep them together no matter what. And nobody was really listening to what we were telling them until we contacted the guardian ad litem (GAL) a few weeks ago. He actually listened to us and did some research into their relationship and what would be best for both boys in the long run. Of course, we didn't actually know he was taking it to heart and just thought he was thinking we were crazy or favoring C2 like everyone else seemed to think.

Apparently, this all came to a head yesterday and he pulled some weight and submitted a report on people he had talked to that actually were in contact with the boys for more than 45 minutes including us and people we've used for respite. It was unanimous that they would be a huge task if not impossible for an adoptive family to take on. And showed that we had gone above and beyond and if anybody would be able to handle the boys it would be us.

Needless to say, Mary had talked briefly with the adoption worker yesterday when she was setting up the meeting who mentioned they "may be splitting the boys". She was shocked as we thought this wasn't even under consideration anymore. I had talked to her about this. Then apparently she talked to the GAL and he told her it was definitely happening. I never got a chance to talk to Mary and be clued in on this so I was thrown to say the least when we met with the adoption worker. I thought it was weird that she was only asking things about C1. Since I thought this meeting was for us to talk about the boys in terms of what kind of adoptive family they (they being the key word) should go to and their personality traits. Then she was all, we'll talk about the process for you guys to adopt the younger boy.

Anywho, I'm sort of in limbo on what to feel. I'm happy and at the same time freaking out. Since I thought this wasn't a possibility at this point. I was kind of focusing on getting the boys into an adoptive home ASAP so we could have some down time before baby. And obviously getting used to the idea that having one child (that we're prepared for) would be nice. But I'm sure I'll adjust, I love C2 and I know that he has a real attachment to Mary and me. So I will hope this is what's meant to be and that it will work out in the scheme of our family.

C2 is available for adoption as in both parents are passed the time of an appeal. So *knock on wood* things will probably happen pretty quickly as far as the adoption is concerned. Of course, I'm still a little hesitant to feel this way since I know DHS and who knows if any other bio family members will try to put a wrench in things.

2 comments:

Renee and Janice said...

CONGRATS :)

Tracers said...

That's pretty exciting and I know it was what you wanted but didn't think of as a possibility.