Friday, January 25, 2008

Frustration

A friend of Mary's just had twin girls. They're named Maitlyn and Braiden. Isn't Braiden a boy's name? And I'm not sure what Maitlyn is. I don't know, I'm obsessed with names lately and fear giving my child some crazy name. Mary was on the phone with her friend the other day and we were trying to get the names out of her, no wonder why she wasn't telling anyone. LOL.

But I am happy for her and her hubby. They went through a couple of years of trying and fertility crap. Then they stopped the fertility clinic process because it was well, stressful. They figured this would also end the risk of multiples and boom, she ends up prego with twins without the aide of fertility meds'.

On to my vent. Lately, I feel like I'm second fiddle to "the boys". Mary is just all about the boys, all she talks about is what C1 and C2 did, caseworker conversations, respite conversations, therapy conversations. It's driving me crazy. Then she was saying how she felt bad since this semester she's teaching 2 classes so they've been in daycare/pre-school for longer days. I noted that 2/5 days C1 gets there later because of therapy and 1/5 for C2. Plus, she's been taking them out early on Fridays.

She was obsessed with bringing C2 to Boston like it was going to prove a point to the caseworker. I don't think they're suddenly going to change their mind about us adopting C2 if we bring him to Boston for a couple of days. Afterall, we've brought both of the boys to Florida twice (including trips to Disney World and SeaWorld) and to Boston at least 3 times.

Then last night, I mentioned that I was so excited to go to Boston on Sunday and have some alone time. Her response was, well, I want to have fun with the boys on Saturday. I mean, it's nice that Mary cares so much about the boys. She's a very caring person. But lately it's like what about me? I'm alone all day. At least the kid's are playing and having fun at school. Anytime they're picked up it's a huge process to convince them to leave. I don't know, I'm just ready for this crap to be done and have my life and Mary back. And meanwhile, I feel like there is no end in sight to the process with the boys. I'm lonely to say the least and I'm annoyed that this is all occurring during my first pregnancy when I should be happy.

1 comment:

Tray said...

In all honesty I don't blame you for feeling that way. You guys are putting a lot of time into children who you have decided not to parent (for good reasons). Have you considered telling her your feelings?