Wednesday, November 28, 2007

The GG Vent

So the drama with great-grandmother (GG) continues. Apparently, word got to her that we were thinking of only adopting one of the boys - and that would probably be C2. I'm not sure how this got to her since we really only mentioned it to the caseworker to make sure it wouldn't take them by surprise if that's what we decided in the end. It was also during a week when C1 was out of control.

We have stuck to our guns that we don't want to be involved in any decision to split the boys up. We feel in the long term, we won't be able to handle C1's issues and that the boys together are a force to be reckoned with. We are also worried that if they are placed again together, the same thing will happen and it will be a failed placement.

However, we've also mentioned that maybe more experienced parents would be able to handle them and that we really just want what is best for them. And this has been hard for us to come to the possibility that maybe they should be split up since our entire point of taking a sibling pair was to keep a sibling pair together.

Needless to say, now GG wants to make sure the boys stay together and if they don't, SHE wants to adopt C1. WHAT??!!!??? We were floored by this. She couldn't handle the kid for THREE MONTHS and she clearly does NOT like him. Plus, for lack of a better term the kid is pretty much f*ct psychologically due to abandonment issues. GG is OLD, OLD, OLD. Maybe she'll live until he's 10 years old and then what's going to happen. Her lawyer says then another family member can take him. Ummm, there has been no other willing or able family members that can take the boys, otherwise they'd both be with them now.

So Mary had called GG's lawyer to possibly have us facilitate some visits with GG when she found this out. Mary's worried the department will issue them and they'll be bad on the kids. She thinks if we could have a few goodbye visits here that would please GG and be less traumatizing for the kids. After all, open adoptions are illegal in Maine so it would just be setting them up for even more disappointment. Obviously, after hearing all this crap, Mary did not mention this possibility. Also, some of the comments GG makes, lead us to believe that she just doesn't want them with us..."it's a question of lifestyle...C1 needs a father figure...are they praying". That brings Mary and I to another huge dilemma where maybe we should just take ourselves out of the picture and maybe GG will get out of this crap.

I am just SO fed up with this situation. If I hear GG's name one more time, I think I'm going to be in a luney bin. Why can't someone terminate her rights? They were already taken out of her house because of weird stuff going on. I just don't get it.

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